Please, get out of my kitchen.

By Aliess Kingsley, COO of Granted


So, let’s say you’re at a restaurant for a first date. 

(Spoiler alert, this date is going to be a great one. We’re all so excited for you!)

You sit down, probably not even needing to look at the menu since you already went online to decide what you want hours ago (because you’re a planner). Your date, however? Well… 

The waiter arrives and your date is excited to spend their money at this establishment. They’ve heard nothing but delicious things and it fits their plans perfectly. But first they say –

I want to support your restaurant, but I need to see how much you spend on rent and electricity to make sure the money I end up paying mostly goes towards food costs. Can you provide a breakdown of your budget for me before I order? 

What kind of question is that, right? But wait, there’s more!

Your date continues:

Please explain in 50 characters or less the need for funding for this particular meal. Keep in mind that while I support the delicious food provided to the community, I don’t want my funding to be spent on the costs of preparing it, or plating, delivering it to my table, or anything other than the food specifically. And maybe the plate – just one. But that’s it. 

Also, using Microsoft paint—a software from 1993—please draw a picture of what you would leverage this funding for. And, just to be clear, while balancing a ball on your nose and reading your request aloud with a British accent, could you please let us know what you would do if you only received partial funding. 

Okay, fine, they didn’t really ask the last question and I’m just making a point, but you get it. Ludicrous, right? Someone asking such specific questions and not trusting the restaurant to know how and where to use the income they have to meet the needs of their community… I mean guests. 

Ludicrous, but something nonprofits deal with regularly. We at Granted Fundraising get it. We’re right there with you. 

From our perspective, the hoops our nonprofit clients have to jump through to secure funding seem to get more frequent, oddly shaped, and wild each year. And if this was the only barrier nonprofits had to face, then we fundraising professionals could absolutely create a path forward for them to ensure mission success. Balancing a ball and British accents are no trouble. But with government funding dwindling, COVID-19 grants being erased altogether, and family foundations tightening purse strings, nonprofits are struggling to continue to help the communities that need them most. In fact, with all of this *and* the hoops, nonprofits are forced to contort their programs like they’re playing Twister, where the left hand can only be on red and the right foot on green, but the only green remaining is on the far corner, and everyone’s focus shifts away from the organization’s mission to doing everything they can to just not slip. This shift in focus can lead to nonprofits facing increases in burnout and turnover, in addition to a distinct lack of funding, making it all but impossible to succeed.

All nonprofits ask of funders is a little trust and a whole lot of unrestricted funding. By leaving these ridiculous questions behind, funders would enable nonprofits to meet their clients where they’re needed instead of contorting themselves into pretzels. Essentially, we’re just asking our dates to realize that what they should really be concerned about is the food quality, taste, and service. Leave the rest to the professionals. 

Now, about that date. I said it was going to be a great one, and I was right: Because of it you are thoroughly prepared for your next first date. If your date is asking the wrong questions on day one, imagine what kind of interim report they may require in the future!